Wednesday, July 24, 2019

How NFL Teams Will Make A Trade With The Texans

Ever since the Houston Texans fired their GM, Brian Gaine, and made a failed attempt at obtaining New England executive, Nick Caserio as their GM, fans of the Texans have been wondering who the new GM will be or, as it looks like has happened, will be operating without a named GM for the 2019 season.  There has been wonderment because no one for weeks from the Texans organization had made any comments.  That was until yesterday, July 22, 2019, when the Texans great radio voice, Marc Vandermeer , made a great get on his radio show on Sports Radio 610, with his interview with the Houston Texans owner Cal McNair.  Bravo, Marc for the great get.

Marc Vandermeer voice of the Texans and Sports Radio 610 host

Now, I like Cal McNair, and think eventually he will become a good if not great owner of the Texans, but some of what I heard from his interview with Marc Vandermeer sounded like inside corporate gobbledygook to me [about the structure of the organization without a GM and how that will work].  When Marc got specific and asked Cal who would other teams call when, for example, they want to make a trade with the Texans.  Cal sounded to me kind of dismissive of the question, especially when he brought up how [in his mind] it was kind of crazy for an earlier show on Sports Radio 610 to question how will people know who to call to make a trade.  Cal's answer, "I promise you, all the other teams will know who to call to make a trade".  Huh?  So, he "answered" the question without giving any names.  What?  Is this sensitive classified top secret information?
So, the Tales [i.e., me] has delved deeper into figuring out exactly how another teams GM will make a trade with the Texans, who do not have a GM and I think it may just go something like this:

John Dorsey, Cleveland Browns GM, makes a call to the Houston Texans in order to make a trade he thinks is possible.  The phone rings and before someone answers he hears Beethoven's piano concerto #5, movement 1, playing pleasantly in the background.  Finally,

Texans clerk 1:  The Houston Texans ticket office, how may I help you.

Browns GM:  Oh, I must have dialed the wrong number.  I wanted to make a trade.

Texans clerk 1:  Well, maybe I can help you.  Tell me what tickets you have now and what you would like to trade them for.

Browns GM:  No, I don't have Texans tickets.  I want to trade players.

Texans clerk 1:  Well we don't have a fantasy football department.

Browns GM:  No, you don't understand.  I am the Cleveland Browns GM and I want to make a trade for a Houston Texans player.

Texans clerk 1: Well, why didn't you say so in the first place.  Please hold and I will get you somebody who may be able to help.

As Beethoven's 1st piano concerto movement 1 is still playing in the background and John Dorsey is now tapping his fingers in frustration on his desk, finally someone answers after a 5 minute delay.

Texans clerk 2:  Houston Texans, Jenny speaking, how may I help you?

Browns GM:  Thank you, Jenny, I am John Dorsey the Cleveland Browns GM and I would like to make a trade with the Houston Texans for one of their players.

Texans clerk 2:  Okay, so what department do you want me to connect you too?

Browns GM:  I'm not sure.  Could you connect me to the GM department.

Texans clerk 2: Hold for one second.  [Beethoven's piano concerto #1, movement 1 continues to play in the background]  then finally,

Texans clerk 2: Sir, we don't have a GM department anymore.

Browns GM: Well Jenny could you please connect me with someone who I can make a trade with?

Texans clerk 2:  You may just be in luck.  I see Cal McNair walking in the building and I think I will be able to talk to him and get directly from the horses mouth on who you can talk too.  Please hold for a second.

As five minutes go by and the Beethoven piano concerto #1, movement 1 is still playing in the background and John Dorsey is now loudly tapping his fingers on his desk, finally Jenny comes back on the phone.

Texans clerk 2:  I have an answer for you Mr. Dorsey.  Cal McNair says that you know who to call to make a trade.

Browns GM: In a louder voice, John blurts out, "If I knew who to call, I wouldn't have asked you."

Texans clerk 2:  Well, you don't have to be snotty about it.

Browns GM: Oh, my God!

Texans clerk 2: Oh, so you want to talk to Pastor Jack Easterby.   Hold on please.

And that's how an NFL team trading with the Houston Texans,  just may go down.

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