Wednesday, July 9, 2014

The Barack Obama Rules For President

Section 1 of Article Two of the United States Constitution sets forth the eligibility requirements for serving as president of the United States:
No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.
In a subsequent amendment it was added that no president can seek office for more than two terms.

Those are the official eligibility qualifications to be the president of the United States.  

However, in a Tales exclusive, Tales has uncovered deep in the heart of Lois Lerner's broken, crashed, disabled hard drive, the following e-mail posted from the White House containing these de facto new requirements to be president of the United States

Barack Obama's Rules for Radicals err President

Any future presidential candidate for president must be able to:
* Lie to the American people in such a bold manner as to have that lie be deemed the politfact lie of the year.

* Choose an attorney general who thinks that following the law is an obstacle in his real job to protect the president at any cost. 

* Divide the American people by race, sex, ideology and wealth, but doing so in such a way as to accuse the other party of doing so.

* Set up multiple straw man arguments in every single speech, and do so without stuttering.

* Fill out both men's and women's NCAA Basketball Brackets every single year, even in the midst of national turmoil.  Note: This requirement is critical in being president.

* Make a phone call at the drop of a hat to any 12th man of an NBA team who announces that he is Gay. [or transgender or transvestite or bisexual]   Note:  Stay away from the phone for any athlete who declares himself a Christian.

* Make a phone call at the drop of the hat to any "average" 30 year old college student advocate, I mean citizen, who goes before congress to demand that the American people pay for her contraceptives.

*Resist making a phone call to the president of Mexico when they are holding illegally a member of our military.

* Play and practice golf more than the average PGA pro does.

* When throwing out the first pitch in a baseball game, be able to throw like a girl.  Oh, oh, that qualification might give Hillary an advantage over the other candidates.

* Console the parents of an American killed overseas in a terrorist attack, by convincing them that you will get the video maker responsible.  [A fake tear would be helpful]  Oh, oh, that qualification will also give Hillary an advantage.

* Say to the American people with a straight face that you are angry and will get to the bottom of a pending scandal, and then be able to say with another straight face just a week later that same scandal is a phony issue.  [don't worry, if you're a liberal Democrat, you will have the media cover for you]

* Play the race card.  Note: This tops Obama's list as an essential requirement to hold the tough position as commander-in-chief.

* Only learn about any critical issue or problem by reading about it in the news, like any average American citizen [or illegal immigrant for that matter] does.

* Leave the Prime Minister of Israel, sitting in a room at the White House alone, while you go get a bite to eat.

* Party with the best of them, even in the midst of the world blowing up.  

* Be silent as a mouse when Palestinian terrorists kill Israeli citizens, but then react with a forceful admonition of concern that both sides should show restraint when Israel acts to defend itself. 

* Say you don't know the facts of a dispute between a citizen and the Cambridge Police Department, but then in the next breath say the police acted stupidly.

an Obama qualification to be president is that the presidential candidate must be able to:

* Have a pen and a phone.
If any of you don't really think that Tales received these presidential qualifications in the lost Lois Lerner e-mails, Tales has three words for you:
So, sue me!


Anonymous said...

Amen & Amen. If only peeps that are Uniformed & Misinformed would wake the heck up ..... this Liberty ship might not sink. If she sinks....that be it.

God Bless America.

Krissy in ATX where sadly Obama will be today. Raking in $$$$ ? And the dopey directors sprawling home here makes films against America. UGH.

Big Mike said...

and Amen to your comments Krissy! Thank you and God Bless.