Monday, April 1, 2013

Let Them Eat Salad

King Barry Ono, of the great country of Uri Solo Ama, was discussing with his wife, Queen Mymy Ono, their next vacation plans.   Because of the king's great love of his country and his concern for the people, who were suffering under a declining economy and owcastration cuts, it had been 9 full days since the royal family's last vacation.

But before finalizing his families vacation plans, the king had some unfinished work to do.  Ah, he probably was going to finally submit the kingdom's much anticipated budget plans for the next fiscal year.  No, that wasn't it.  The king was finally filling out his annual world soccer brackets.  With that important brain work behind him, the king finally could get back to the families vacation plans.

The good King suggested for one of the few times in his reign, the family would take separate vacations.  He would go to southeastern Uri Solo Ama to play golf with the Cat man. The fetching Queen Mymy would fly off to the gorgeous For The Elite Only Islands, and the little princesses would experience some fun on the slopes of some never to be disclosed snow resorts.

"But king", said chief of stick Rom Ebook, "have you forgot you have closed the White Castle to tours for the little kids of  the kingdom because of owcastration.   It may hurt your approval ratings to be going on vacation while the kids can't tour the White Castle".  Chief Rom went on, "Also Barry, by taking separate vacations, our rapidly rising debt ridden kingdom will be hit with unneeded expenses because of the extra  flights from Air Royal 1, Air Royal Queen and Air Royal Princess. Plus, just think of all that added security needed oh, great one."   "Maybe, just maybe this one time you could all vacation together", Rom told the king with a shaky voice and a nervous smile on his face.

This angered the good King Barry to no end.  "Rom, do you know who you are addressing?  I am the king.  Kids are just little people.  If you want to have a political future, you may think again about insulting your king that way.  I know you have been thinking about that mayor's job in the gusty city.  If you don't show your king more respect, you can blow away that future job."

So, with that nuisance out of the way, the king gave his speech to the subjects of his country.  With the cameras on in the North Wing of the White Castle, King Barry Ono told his countrymen of the much needed vacation he and Queen Mymy and  Princess' Maria and Saha would be taking.  Barry, the most intelligent king to ever occupy the White Castle, told the unworthy people: "some may criticize my family for taking this vacation."  "but", the king reminded them, "it has been nine full days of non stop work since my last vacation.  Besides, don't forget about all of the vacations the previous evil King George of Thorn took."

Yes, the king and his family had sacrificed enough.  They are humans just like the rest of us [although there have been reports of some seeing King Barry actually walking on water].  They can't be working all the time.

While the great King Barry Ono was finishing up his address inside The White Castle, outside the Palace gates  there could still be heard some little kids crying about not being able to enter and get their tours.  In the White Castle's East Wing Queen Mymy was overheard telling one of her 252 servants, "let them eat salad."


servative said...

Ouch, Big Mike! Biting! My only criticism is that something like this is so unbelievable, so unthinkable, that it could never happen, even in a story. Aside from that, great and fun satire!

Big Mike said...

It was hard to even make it up, unbelievable. :-))

Anonymous said...

Woot Woot! That's quite the story of the king and queen. Have you seen the price of salad these days though? LOL Am thinkin she'll reduce it to just the iceberg lettuce. Just sayin.

Krissy in ATX

Big Mike said...

Thanks Krissy! :-)

88keyman said...

But no arugula in those salads. That's just for the queen.

Big Mike said...

Of course Key man :-))