Hat Tip: Ernest Thayer for his epic poem Casey at the bat.
Inspiration: Tarzana Joe, poet extraordinaire of the Hugh Hewitt radio show [mostly on Friday's]
Texans At The Bat
It was a cool and crisp December
in Houston town that night
The moon was all aglow
A very beautiful sight
Houston hearts were filled with warmth
and excitement was all abound
What we were about to witness
would be quite profound
Our favorite team, the Texans
would finally gain respect
From NFL fans around the world
even in Quebec
ESPN was turned on
in every Houston home
As we would witness a football show
That would be second to none
But then the game began
our eyes were in a trance
The ominous beginning
made us look with great askance
The outlook wasn't looking good
for the Texans on that night
The Pats scored quickly thrice
before our very sight
But Houston fans never gave up hope
as they watched the TV tubes
They knew the Texans were led
by the man affectionaely called Kubes
We had Schaub our quarterback
who could throw it like a rope
We had Andre Johnson on the receiving end
He would catch them all, no joke
We had Arian Foster our running back
who could glide swiftly through the air
And when he would cross that goal line
He would bow in thoughtful prayer
And let us not forget
on the defensive side of the ball
We had the man called JJ Watt
He would swat them away, yes all
When the dust would settle
When all four quarters done
Houston fans had no doubt at all
That it would be our Texans who had won
Oh, somewhere in this wonderous land
kids laugh a gleeful sound
Somewhere there are faces
smiling all around
Somewhere men are resting
as there work for the day is done
They rest up for the next work's day
As they will again be on the run
And somewhere there is so much glee
you narry see a frown
But there is no joy in H-Town
The mighty Texans have gone down
Inspiration: Tarzana Joe, poet extraordinaire of the Hugh Hewitt radio show [mostly on Friday's]
Texans At The Bat
It was a cool and crisp December
in Houston town that night
The moon was all aglow
A very beautiful sight
Houston hearts were filled with warmth
and excitement was all abound
What we were about to witness
would be quite profound
Our favorite team, the Texans
would finally gain respect
From NFL fans around the world
even in Quebec
ESPN was turned on
in every Houston home
As we would witness a football show
That would be second to none
But then the game began
our eyes were in a trance
The ominous beginning
made us look with great askance
The outlook wasn't looking good
for the Texans on that night
The Pats scored quickly thrice
before our very sight
But Houston fans never gave up hope
as they watched the TV tubes
They knew the Texans were led
by the man affectionaely called Kubes
We had Schaub our quarterback
who could throw it like a rope
We had Andre Johnson on the receiving end
He would catch them all, no joke
We had Arian Foster our running back
who could glide swiftly through the air
And when he would cross that goal line
He would bow in thoughtful prayer
And let us not forget
on the defensive side of the ball
We had the man called JJ Watt
He would swat them away, yes all
When the dust would settle
When all four quarters done
Houston fans had no doubt at all
That it would be our Texans who had won
Oh, somewhere in this wonderous land
kids laugh a gleeful sound
Somewhere there are faces
smiling all around
Somewhere men are resting
as there work for the day is done
They rest up for the next work's day
As they will again be on the run
And somewhere there is so much glee
you narry see a frown
But there is no joy in H-Town
The mighty Texans have gone down
2 comments:
Awesome awesome , but my thoughts about the fiasco on Monday night are not so nice as this fantastic parody---- great entertainment big mike!!
Thanks bro! Believe me, I can't put what I really think about the Texans performance...the Tales ombudsman, Mr. Bigmouth, would tell me they don't meet up to the Tales standards in decency and I would have to take them off. :-))
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