Wednesday, September 19, 2012

This Question at the Presidential Presser That You Might Have Missed

Who?:  Jack Tapper and President Barack Obama   
What?:  Presidential Press Conference 
Where?: Washington, D.C.      
When?:  Only God Knows     
Why?:  Why not?
Real?:  Quoting Ripley, "Believe it or not"

Q: Jake Tapper: "Mr. President, you stated shortly after you were elected president that your inauguration would signal a new attitude of American policy toward Muslims and just that alone would bring a new feeling of love and peace from the Muslims in the Middle East.  You further went on to say because of your presence the oceans, I mean Muslim unrest, would begin to recede.  Recently we have seen much unrest and rioting in the Middle East, resulting in four members of the State Department, including the Ambassador, being brutally murdered in Libya; we have seen the American flag being torn down and burned to be replaced by the black Islamist flag in the US Embassy's in Cairo,Yemen and Tunisia; we have seen violent mobs in the streets of Malaysia, Bangladesh, Afghanistan, Lebanon and the Sudan where Muslims are shouting "death to America".  My question to you, Mr. President: What happened?"

A: Clueless President:  "Jack Ass, I mean Jake, first of all, I got Bin Laden.  When we took over, we knew George W Bush had left us with a mess in Middle East, where the Muslims rightfully hated our country, but we just didn't realize how big of a mess that George Bush had left us with.  He left us with the worst unrest in the Middle East since the  great Crusades.  When we have the worst conditions since the great Crusades in the Middle East, you can't expect me to clean that mess up in four years. Did I tell you I got Bin Laden, Jake?  George W Bush took eight years getting us in this Middle East mess, so, even as great as I am,  it will take me another term to get us out of it. The American people understand that I am the only Muslim, I mean I am the only person in America who understands the Muslims anger, and they also understand I am the only person that can get us out of this mess.

At the start of my second term I will go to Cairo for another apology, I mean another outreach program extended to the greatest religion this earth has ever known.  After my speech, the Muslims will love me, uh, uh, I mean the Muslims will love America.  Oh, and by the way Jake, I got Bin Laden."
After the news conference there was some commentary by those few reporters that didn't faint from Obama's brilliance:

George Stephanopolous: "President Obama hit all the right points. It will be difficult for Mr Romney to overcome this."

Juan Williams:  "The overwhelming majority of people are with the president on this. His words were perfect."

Andrea Mitchell: "With that statement by the wonderful Barack Obama, this election is over. Barack Obama has won."

Michael Beschloss [historian]:  "That statement shows why this president is the smartest president we have ever had. He may be the smartest man ever in our history."  [note: when asked later what president Obama's IQ was, Beschloss said he didn't know. He then asked the questioner if he knew]

Chris Matthews:  "I got this thrill..."    [you know the rest]

Peggy Noonan [in her arrogant, I mean thoughtful pose, said softly and slowly to emphasize her brilliance]:  "Mr. Romney better be careful making any comment.  The American people frown upon negative comments on our president in times such as these."
The previous post might or might not be true. The names have not been changed in order to reveal the guilty .


bradley said...

Sad thing is that >40% of the Americans agree with and fall for mr clueless's statements in your funny scenario-- laughing about this fiasco in white house may be the best medicine at this time!

Anonymous said...

Am hoping the dopes stay home and play video games !
Krissy in #ATX

Big Mike said...

Me too Krissy, am praying only the informed people take the time to vote. Please, dear God. :-)