My wonderful wife hearing me practicing this song said, "Oh, no, you are ruining one of my favorite songs." :-) Have no fear, a second opinion by the Tales law firm - Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe - thinks this is one of the Tales best efforts. Hmm, now that I think about it, there wasn't a very high bar for me to clear.
So, without further ado, my tribute to Jose Altuve, sung to the karaoke music from Daniel Boone,
Jose Altuve Is A Big Man: